Restaurant Efficiency
I have no idea where I originally heard this joke, but I told it to a waiter at a restaurant one time. He then proceeded to bring over every other waiter — singly or in pairs — and make me tell them because he claimed he sucked at remembering and telling jokes.
A man was eating dinner in a restaurant and dropped his spoon on the floor. His waiter was nearby so he asked if he could get another. The waiter pulled one out of his shirt pocket and handed it to him.
“That’s handy,” the patron said.
“Yah,” the waiter responded, “the restaurant hired an efficiency expert and we were wasting too much time on piddly stuff like that so we just always carry a setup in our pocket and, next time we’re at the station, we resupply if needed.”
“Brilliant,” the man said, and went back to eating his soup.
A little while later the patron noticed a string on the waiter’s black pants. “You have a piece of thread or something there.”
The waiter sighed and said, “Another efficiency thing. It’s attached to my penis so I can pull it out when I need to pee and save time by not having to wash my hands.”
“Oh,” the diner said, “but what do you do about getting it back into your pants?”
“I dunno about the other waiters, but I use the spoon.”